Hope in Brokenness

Today was one of those heart changing kind of days. The kind that changes you in a kind of epic proportion that you don't fully understand until sometime later.  I am still piecing together and trying to make sense of all that I experienced since this morning's sunrise.

I started out the day following one of the surgeons on his rounds.  Purely for educational purposes. He had around 10 surgical residents along with him and I was amazed at his marvelous, patient, and wise teaching methods. And in less than an hour I saw things that broke my heart. Things that will haunt my dreams and pain that took away my breath.  Morphine is not available here, therefore for patients in chronic and intense pain, relief is not found. It is a haunting experience to see the kind of suffering some people experience.  The doctor I shadowed told us how difficult he still finds it to witness this even after years of practicing in conditions such as these. For someone like me, it made me wonder where I fit into all of this. I remembered a sweet young girl in India singing praises to God "Break my heart with what breaks yours" and as I walked through those hospital halls I didn't know if I could handle the weight of what that meant. It made me wonder if what I do actually contributes to the greater good. Does designing new water and sanitation systems, assessing the operating issues and making recommendations for improvement make even one iota of a difference? I've reasoned that somehow I hope it does. I hope that providing designs and recommendations to help this hospital run more effectively will somehow indirectly help some of those patients I met today. And yet, it seems like only a drop in oceans vast and deep.

And so I end my day with this.  A reminder that I cannot save the world.  Not even a little bit. I can only do as Gandalf says decide what to do with the time that is given to me. To offer myself and my skills as some kind of imperfect offering armed with the knowledge that I cannot save the world, but I serve a God who can.  A God whose heart breaks with the pain that surrounds me and the injustices that are so rife in the wider world.  I end my day knowing this and believing that in among all that pain, there is still hope.  It is in the eyes of the child who so shyly smiled at me from his hospital bed. It is in the gentle hands of the surgeon who shows each and every patient remarkable care.  It is in me, and it is in you if we allow ourselves to find it.

We Treat, God Heals

Here am I.  In the dusty dry lands of Southern Ethiopia. Heart Changed. Eyes Opened. How do I even put this into words.  I am here with a team from Engineering Ministries International to do a project at a hospital in Southern Ethiopia.  I have been humbled and I have seen things I will never forget. Not for a thousand lifetimes. If you want to have your heart broken, I must tell you.  Simply visit a rural African hospital.  This one is one of an amazing variety. It is a teaching hospital and they are known as the best orthopedic surgery hospital in all of Ethiopia.  People even travel from surrounding countries to come here for orthopedic surgery. A small but mighty team of ex-pat doctors are here to teach and mobilize Ethiopian doctors and medical professionals.  I have been amazed at hearing the hearts of these doctors.  At seeing their vision and love for this country and wanting to send out trained and qualified local medical professionals. But they are doing even more than that. They are providing discipleship, both to the doctors they teach and the patients they treat.  They tell their patients that they treat, but God heals.  They work in conditions that are sometimes surprising by Western standards and they have this grand vision of how to make medical care in this country and on this continent better and more accessible.

I have watched Ivy League surgeons humbly and quietly serve in some of the most surprising ways.  As they pitch in and help with our dishes even if they aren't even sharing our meal. They are a rare breed in this world.  They are servants of all.

One thing on this project which I had not anticipated was receiving the opportunity to work with a local Ethiopian consulting engineer.  I was feeling overwhelmed by the workload and today found out that our design team was going to work collaboratively with a local engineering firm so that we could design together and then they can take over when it turns to detailed design and construction management.  I learned so much working with an Ethiopian Civil Engineer.  It was an invaluable asset to have a local today when we did building condition assessments. He could communicate with the staff and the patients and I could not. He knew local design practices and I did not. And he also had many questions for me about technical matters and what I had designed on previous eMi projects and what had been successful and what had not. I felt like we worked as a solid and unstoppable team.  And to top it all off, we assessed every toilet and water tap in the extent of this hospital campus.  That I would say is a pretty wonderful day.

The Instructions on the wall of one of the surgical suites. White Paint and a Sharpie are where it's at.

One of the surgery rooms.  Two surgeries happen at once. One teaching surgeon with two teams of surgeons performing procedures. Power failures, non-sterile equipment, non-functioning equipment and many other challenges are not for the faint of heart.