Some of you know the journey I have travelled these past few weeks. The journey before the journey. The state of events that left me no choice but to hold all of this with an open hand, because it made me realize that it wasn't even mine to begin with. You see, I am supposed to be in an airplane right now, on my way to Germany to spend a few days with a precious friend, and then on my way to India after that, to continue on with a water project at the children's home I was at last year. . . Instead I'm sitting at home typing on my computer and trying to make this all make sense.
I sent my passport away in August to get my travel visa, and thought nothing of it. I hadn't had any issues the past two times I'd travelled there. However this year, things were different. A new outsourcing company, and with it a whole lot of problems. I've been fighting with them the past two weeks to try and process my visa application in time for my planned departure today. I fought hard, but my passport was still in Toronto when I needed to make a decision about cancelling my flights. And so flights were cancelled, hearts broken, and plans undone. By all accounts, I was staying home this time around, and my heavy heart felt restless about that. Restless that I wouldn't get to walk on foreign ground for perhaps several more months, restless I wouldn't hold hands and play games and laugh with abandon at the antics of some silly little boys. And then this afternoon, grace fell right in my lap. My passport arrived, a day too late, but maybe just in time, I'll never know. I got most of my money back from the cancelled flights, despite not having cancellation insurance, and was able to book new flights to India leaving a few days later. I won't get to see my friend in Germany, or experience her homeland with her like I thought I would, and in some ways it feels like that was stolen from me. But this new reality is better than not going at all. And you know what? Through all of this, I have been reminded how much I am loved. People have encouraged, prayed, and loved me in ways that I won't soon forget. Thank you for joining me in the trenches, for sending me notes and texts, to those of you that know words are my love language and those of you who don't, thank you for being present these past few weeks.
One of my friends fittingly posted this quote by Elizabeth Edwards on Facebook yesterday seeming to speak to me right where I was at:
"Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good."
You know what? There is good here. Despite the disappointment about what was supposed to be, there is joy in my heart about what is yet to come.
I sent my passport away in August to get my travel visa, and thought nothing of it. I hadn't had any issues the past two times I'd travelled there. However this year, things were different. A new outsourcing company, and with it a whole lot of problems. I've been fighting with them the past two weeks to try and process my visa application in time for my planned departure today. I fought hard, but my passport was still in Toronto when I needed to make a decision about cancelling my flights. And so flights were cancelled, hearts broken, and plans undone. By all accounts, I was staying home this time around, and my heavy heart felt restless about that. Restless that I wouldn't get to walk on foreign ground for perhaps several more months, restless I wouldn't hold hands and play games and laugh with abandon at the antics of some silly little boys. And then this afternoon, grace fell right in my lap. My passport arrived, a day too late, but maybe just in time, I'll never know. I got most of my money back from the cancelled flights, despite not having cancellation insurance, and was able to book new flights to India leaving a few days later. I won't get to see my friend in Germany, or experience her homeland with her like I thought I would, and in some ways it feels like that was stolen from me. But this new reality is better than not going at all. And you know what? Through all of this, I have been reminded how much I am loved. People have encouraged, prayed, and loved me in ways that I won't soon forget. Thank you for joining me in the trenches, for sending me notes and texts, to those of you that know words are my love language and those of you who don't, thank you for being present these past few weeks.
One of my friends fittingly posted this quote by Elizabeth Edwards on Facebook yesterday seeming to speak to me right where I was at:
"Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good."
You know what? There is good here. Despite the disappointment about what was supposed to be, there is joy in my heart about what is yet to come.
Hey my friend :-) I'm so glad you're on your trip now and I hope it fulfills all your expectations!
ReplyDeleteGermany and me will still be here next time, looking forward to having you whenever it works out!
love
Juli