As I have walked through life these past few weeks, maybe
even these past few months, it seems I have felt more deeply the rough and
jagged edges of this broken world, of my broken soul. At every turn I am
reminded that each of us hold our own cracked and broken pieces and so often
all that brokenness gets lived unspoken. But what would happen if somehow I
allowed my shattered pieces to flow right on into yours and we found healing in
each other's broken places? I am starting to learn that until we realize the
depth of our own brokenness there can be no way forward.
Perhaps I become more reflective as I stand on the cusp of a
major transition. As I gaze into the heavens and ask Him to take away my
unbelief. That all these big and scary
things that I need to leave in His arms, I tell Him I want to believe He is
bigger than all of this. That as I stand on the edge of doing this hard and
holy thing, I tell Him I want to believe He’s writing this story. Because I
know He is, but I can’t see past the here and now and that is more than a
little scary. That as I plan to head across the oceans and live in the middle
of the hard and messy reality of cross-cultural servanthood; that I would be
able to hold out these broken parts of me and that the beautiful souls I will
meet will somehow take those and find some kind of healing for their own
bruised and battered souls. Lord, let them teach me, teach me to love and live
and rejoice in the middle of a hard and angry world. May I give them a piece of
my broken heart and my broken soul, and may they find in it thanksgiving and
abundance. As I go through this difficult business of transitioning to so many
things new, new country, new office, new culture, new life, may they find in me
joy and hope even when I can’t see it in myself, in the days that are harder
than I know what to do with, in the days when I just want to get on an airplane
and come home, may those around me see the light of His love. Because I know
that God doesn’t need to use us, the hard and stubborn humans that we are, but
He rejoices in doing so. He takes our broken places and makes beauty rise. And
is that something that any of us can even comprehend? He walks with us through
the painful and difficult places, and perhaps through that, He gives someone
else just a small picture of who He is.
Most of us, we don’t want to be bent up, rusted, we would
rather be shiny, monolithic, and untainted. But the reality is that we all live
with this human condition, broken souls in a bruised and angry world. As deep
calls to deep, let us offer up and give away pieces of our broken heart. Let us
learn to live content in a world of paradox, joy and pain, love and hurt, let
us join hands and do this together.
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| There was a day in India when I was trying to test the saturation capacity of the soil. I had 2 young helpers who kept wanting to hold my hands as I tried to dig holes and do tests. I stopped for a few minutes and held out my palm. One little girl placed her hand on mine, and I asked her friend if she wanted to do the same. In that moment they offered me a piece of their broken pasts along with hope for their bright futures. |
